Arts & Life, Features

Squared Away

I strive for making a difference in my fellow veteran’s lives so they have the hope and faith I possess to overcome mental illness.

When I was in high school, I started to hear voices and they kept me from enjoying company of others.  When I found alcohol and the sensation of being free from the voices, I became instantly hooked.  Alcohol got in my way of getting an education, because it took over my life. I knew when I was 20, I needed to quit drinking and I joined the Navy to become sober.  

The voices came back in boot camp, and I was an emotional wreck until graduation.  The first thing I did was go to a bar and get drunk.  My sobriety left me and I began to live my life drinking.  When I was able to take the test for advancement, I became a Second Class Petty Officer and during an exercise with our missile system; I was able to fire a live missile at a drone and demolish it into little pieces.  I was also given two Navy Achievement Medals.  

I kept my drinking career throughout my Navy experience and it was getting worse as I was progressing in my troubleshooting of electronic equipment. I wanted to drink more, so I turned to drugs and slowly my discipline began to deteriorate until I lost two ranks. I killed my naval career, and I quit caring about anything. I was devastated and stayed that way for about 10 years of drinking and drugging. When I could no longer support my habit, the voices came back, and I tried to commit suicide. Obviously I failed at that, and I made myself a promise that next time would be different. I was having a bad day in June of 2007 and wanted to leave this world.  

On that day in June, I finally explained the voices to the doctors. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and was put on medication. I went into treatment and came out of treatment with achieving my goals of going back to school and getting a job.  

January 2008 started my journey in school and after taking step by step I am going to graduate with my master’s degree in social work on May 20, 2016. It took me eight years to progress this far and the only thing that keeps me going is my fellow veterans who also suffer from mental illness.

In partnership with Student Veterans of AmericaVeterans Network is leading the STRIVE campaign. STRIVE highlights student veteran’s strengths, creates community support and encourages academic and professional success at CSULB.

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