Despite a near-consensus among the basketball world, I am willing to step out and say what I really think about the New Orleans Hornets’ high-profile name change to the Pelicans.
AMAZING!
(Insert laughs)
But seriously, I’m actually quite baffled by how much flack the organization is getting, considering the slew of professional sports mascots that don’t boast nearly the resume the Pelican does.
Sure, pelicans are slightly (okay, terribly) awkward and don’t exactly strike fear into the eyes of an opponent.
Or, maybe it’s just that you don’t really know pelicans. This bird is gritty, loyal, and resilient in the truest sense of the word.
Did you know pelicans have air sacs in their throats to keep them buoyant in water?
Or that they can shape-shift their bills into basket-like pouches for catching fish?
Or that mother pelicans have been known to puncture their own flesh to feed their young their own blood when fishing’s dry?
Neither did I. Wikipedia does it again.
You can criticize the pelican for being goofy and having a disproportionately large beak, but you can’t claim that it’s anything but a harmonious fit for New Orleans.
Dubbed “the pelican state,” Louisiana could benefit from a strong hoops club with an economy still reeling from Hurricane Katrina. I’m not saying that having the right mascot is a voucher for a championship ring, but it certainly won’t hurt. And let’s face it, the Hornets were a bit of “buzzkill.” Sorry, Hornets.
Countless NBA squads have fallen victim to RIMS (regionally inappropriate mascot syndrome); not to mention, those with regionally inappropriate and weak, feeble mascots. I’m calling you out, Utah Jazz! If I’m going to raise a white flag to my competition, chances are said competition won’t take the shape of a trombone solo-even if it is smooth like John Stockton’s jumper.
To be fair, my own team’s mascot, the Celtic, is not immune to the same criticism. When I rack my brain for terrifying images, an arthritic leprechaun with a walking stick doesn’t usually make an appearance.
Now, take a closer look. Does the pelican not bear an uncanny resemblance to its ferocious dinosaur ancestors?
So the next time you want to fire a quick one at the expense of the pelican, take a look at the photo up top.
Still laughing? Didn’t think so. #pelicannation