Ideally, when a joke is cracked, the response is a boisterous knee slap smothered in laughter; when an action scene screens, the audience should—metaphorically of course—feel the flames of the pyro, speed into car chases and dance through bullets.
Ideally, when a director sets out to create an art film, its cinematography should convince the audience through the innovative angles and striking color patterns that a world that was once only a vision may actually exist somewhere.
David Koepp’s action comedy “Mortdecai” succeeds at none of these things.
Koepp’s attempt to roll comedy, action and art into one film is the misunderstood blunder of this weekend’s box-office.
Adorned in purple velvet, a neat side-combed mane and cane in hand, Johnny Depp stars as the mustachioed Lord Charlie Mortdecai in the film. The fidgety, debonair don is a full-time aristocrat and part-time con, who must swindle his way out of debt one masterpiece at a time due to his inherently lavish lifestyle.
Gwenyth Paltrow plays his well-aware wife, Johanna, who supervises her husband’s tomfoolery, staying one step ahead by taking part in solving the mystery of a missing Goya painting, introduced to the couple by Ewan McGregor’s character, Alistar Maitland.
In this film, Koepp’s British humor doesn’t quite translate. The cast is full of stars portraying unfunny caricatures inspired by the book anthology of Kyril Bonfiglioli’s “Don’t Point That Thing at Me.”
It takes a certain type of intrigue to enjoy the quirkiness of British comedy, but slapstick jokes about sympathetic gag reflexes and the type of cheap-thrills violence that would entertain a four-year-old can only carry a farce so far.
Mordecai’s nonsensical nature fits Depp’s repertoire of bizarre roles but abandons his famous dark aesthetic. For the most part, his portrayal of a lax aristocrat floating on a whim is fine for what it is.
Depp’s so-so acting was less of a distraction than the unoriginal plot.
Recent box-office releases of the past year have made stolen art their central focus. Now, Mordecai, an unworthy comedic alternative, joins that list because it wasn’t tackled well enough in The Grand Budapest Hotel or The Monuments Men.
One risk that got the best of this film is that it’s difficult to relate to. An important aspect when tying together abstract concepts is to make sure it engages the audience—not turns them away.
The action that was attempted in the screenplay failed to shock. The most heinous crime is committed against a multi-million dollar vase and concludes in the first scene.
Otherwise, the audience is stuck with a few under-whelming car chases, boring tussles and empty threats from the wretched “bad guys.”
Mortdecai is the cinematographic equivalent to a pebble that sinks instead of skips or the premature, raised hand, deprived of a high five.