Now that you’ve survived the dreaded sit down sex talk with your parents of your pre-pubescent years, Bryn Cartwright hopes to graduate the topics to a college-level course.
Cartwright, a senior anthropology major at California State University, Long Beach, organized the Speaker’s Panel on Consent, Communication & Trust, a presentation dedicated to those in seeking an open forum for discussing sexual relationships as well as alternative intimacies such as kink and BDSM.
On Monday, the University Student Union Beach Auditorium will become a safe space to openly discuss nontraditional intimacies and sexual relationships with six speakers from various areas of “sexpertise.”
The free event runs from 6 to 8 p.m. In efforts to maintain attendees’ confidentiality, the auditorium will be dimly lit with the question portion taken anonymously.
The Daily 49er sat down with Cartwright to learn more about Monday’s panel.
What is the event about?
The Speaker’s Panel on Consent, Communication & Trust is an event that helps teach others in an academic and safe environment how to navigate nontraditional intimacies or sexual relationships. We’re taught as kids, mostly by “heteronormative” parents, so they have a heteronormative way of being. Traditionally, sex is not spoken of even though we’re sexually transmitted people – that’s how we got here.
One of the people mistook this as just “sex education” and that’s not it. It’s not learning about anatomy and organs. This is to support people who have a different idea of what “intimate” means.
What inspired you to create and organize a panel for nontraditional sexual lifestyle choices?
I was inspired to [organize the panel] after watching the “Not Anymore” video. I saw that it was meaningful to share stories about being violated, but all I saw were these people who have been hurt and violated and they went into these relationships without knowing what they’re doing, without developing trusting or consensual guidelines. I thought “this is great” but it’s not solving anything in my opinion.
I think that if you don’t address your desires –whether it is your homosexuality, your [interest] in kink or polyamory—they become negative, they become psychological instabilities and they fester like wounds. That kind of pressure doesn’t allow you to act like a calm and sensible person. One of the key phrases in kink communities that you’ll hear all the time is “Safe, Sane and Sensual.”
Who will be speaking on the panel?
I have people who are speaking on polyamory, BDSM, kink, LGBT, activism and equal rights. Also, I have people talking about the psychology and culture behind it. They’re going to talk to the [audience] about consent and how to get it, how to trust, who to trust and what words you can use to get that trust.
What difficulties did you face trying to organize this event?
I found out today that I had some of my posters – even though they were legally posted—were found in the dumpster. I’ve seen some of the posters torn down. Either someone’s just doing a bad job cleaning old flyers or someone’s malicious and it struck a chord with them. This is a subject that makes people very uncomfortable, but that’s why I’m doing it and it’s in a safe place.
What do you want students to get out of this?
You’ll see people in all walks of life – maybe they’re your teachers, friends or someone who goes to church every Sunday – they all have secret lives. This event can teach younger generations because most of them haven’t even touched on the subject. People who are kink or sadomasochistic will sometimes have their kids taken away from them or they’ll lose their jobs. It becomes a human rights issue. That’s not fair. People who study women and gender studies – this would interest them. People who study anthropology and culture – this would interest them. Even people who study marketing, you might want to know that this is a big thing—like when “50 Shades of Grey” came out. It’s a human rights issue, it’s a human nature issue. So go and learn something!