Daily 49er

Adults should leave trick-or-treating to the kids on Halloween

Jack Chavdarian

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Halloween isn’t just about dressing up and getting scared. To a lot of us, it’s still about trick-or-treating.

There’s nothing like going from house to house to fill your bag with free candy, preferably the type that have no needles in them, to bring joy to our stressful college lives.

This is the only night of the year that allows you to walk up to complete strangers in a mask, demand they open their doors for you, and give you whatever it takes to please your sweet tooth without being prosecuted for it.

There comes a time in life, however, when we go from being cute little trick-or-treaters to fully grown adults who look like complete idiots standing at a stranger’s door, asking for candy.

When are you officially too old to go trick-or-treating?

When is it time to let the next generation take over, empty the candy from your pillowcase and retire?

A good indication of it being time to give it up is when you no longer have to walk from house to house on Halloween night; you can simply drive.

Drive-by trick-or-treating isn’t an attractive look on a person, and you really need to accept that it’s time to give it up. You’re a big boy now with a car. Why don’t you try picking up women instead of candy?

Another sign that it’s time to give it up is when you walk up to the door and the person who gives you the candy is much younger than you.

When you’re taking part in what appears to be the start of a reverse kidnapping, where the child is handing the adult candy, you’ve reached the end of your trick-or-treating journey in life. Just go home.

Finally, if instead of putting candy in your bag they pepper-spray you in the face and tell you to get off their property, it’s time to call it a day.

You’re making people uncomfortable.

We’ve all opened the door to find an adult trick-or-treater, and we’ve all felt awkward giving them candy.

You wonder if they’re on hashish, if it’s a prank or if they’re using this as some kind of way to break into your house.

In fact, sometimes adult costumes and their potential graphic nature can be a little intimidating for those who are opening their homes to you.

Can you imagine an 80-year-old woman expecting to give a child candy, but opening her door to find you standing there covered in fake blood, wearing a mask and a fake axe in your head? You might get old-lady-slapped or give her a heart attack.

Plus, you wouldn’t want to be the child who walks up to a house to be told that the adult trick-or-treating before you got the last of the candy.

It’s best to have ended your trick-or-treating on a high note, probably around 12 or 13 when it’s still cute.

Now that you’re older, it’s probably more rewarding for you to find other things to do on Halloween with other adults.

Maybe try a costume party, or a theme park where they scare the crap out of you or something of that nature. Otherwise, you’re out of place, in the way, and you look kind of silly still trick-or-treating.

Jack Chavdarian is a senior journalism major and the assistant social media editor for the Daily 49er.

 

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