Just like buying textbooks and studying for exams, professors are simply another part of our college experience. However, no two professors are the same.
There are so many different kinds of professors that it becomes easier to sort them into funny categories — although some of these professors are far from funny.
Here are some of the many educators you may run into during your time at The Beach.
PROFESSOR MONOTONE
From “Hi” to “Class dismissed,” this professor’s voice won’t change a pitch throughout the semester, and it’ll piss you off at least once.
You won’t know when something this professor says is important or irrelevant, but you’ll be jotting down notes like a lunatic trying not to miss anything.
Word of advice: You can’t change the person’s Ben Stein-like voice, but you can change your attitude about the situation. Be more of an optimist. Instead of deeming their voice “boring,” consider it hypnotic instead.
After all, hypnotic things usually draw one’s attention while boring things encourage one to stop listening.
GOOD COP/HARSH GRADER
You walk into class on the first day and from the looks and sounds of it, this professor doesn’t seem like a regular professor– they’re a cool professor! You just hit the rate-my-professor jackpot without even checking the reviews! Awesome.
Everything’s going great until you get your first graded assignment back. “Uh, what do you mean I failed?” you say to yourself.
Beware of the harsh grading professor that comes off as your BFF.
Word of advice: so they grade like a tyrant, but they come off as a total sweetheart! You have an advantage here. Go up and create a genuine relationship with the professor. After all, they’re very approachable.
Ask them upfront, and in a friendly fashion, what they expect from you in the course. Trust me, they’ll let you know.
Problem solved.
THE ACCENT
At least you understood the professor with a monotone voice — what in the world is this one even saying?
This is where you really have to leave your biases at the door, and embrace a new way of comprehending language. After all, the professor is trying their best to speak to you in a native tongue, so you have to try your best to understand them.
Word of advice: Learn to decipher the sounds of the words coming from the professor you deem inaudible. It could be as easy as changing a “w” sound to that of an “r”— or maybe it’ll be a little more difficult.
Listen closely to the way they enunciate words. You’ll eventually catch on.
And if you can’t, then hey — at least your textbook is in English, right? If it isn’t, I really hope you’re studying a foreign language.
THE DROPPER
It’s your first day and you’re a bit nervous. Your professor walks into class and immediately you get some antagonistic vibes coming off of them.
They ask you to pull out the syllabus and your heart stops. The workload is insane, and the grading scale seems a little unfair as well.
“If you can’t handle this class, drop it,” they tell you on the very first day you meet them.
Word of advice: Don’t drop that class. Go for it! This is what being a college student is about – overcoming what may seem like the biggest educational obstacles in pursuit of a degree.
Take the challenge. Don’t let that professor’s words intimidate you, because you might not only end up passing the course with a decent grade, but also end up liking the professor who put you through a quick – yet unforgettable – taste of hell.
THE NON-STOP LECTURER
There are a plethora of other kinds of professors, but I’ll end the list with this experienced scholar. This professor knows what they’re talking about, and they are very passionate about it.
You’ll admire their vast knowledge while only being able to jot down every sixth word they say in your notebook. Not to mention you’ll appreciate their detailed way of teaching while also wondering why they chose to tell you everything they know about the subject in one lecture.
Word of advice: Sit back and enjoy the informative lectures and let a voice recorder do all the work. Yeah, you’ll have to go back to dig for the necessary info later, but you’ll have it all saved.
Who knows, you might become the next expert on the topic after listening back to the recorded lectures.
Professors are another part of our academic careers — learn to navigate them and make sure to figure out which one you work with best.
As a faculty member I found this piece delightful–and rather sobering because I recognized some of my own tendencies. I so much appreciated the upbeat tone, too, but I’d like to add two suggestions and a request.
Perhaps the help of fellow students in coping with “THIS” professor would help alleviate the problems while creating more student collegial bonds. And remember, faculty benefit from specific (constructive) criticisms in your end-of-semester evaluation sheets. The request: more, please!
(Sam Coleman, PhD MSW, Lecturer, Dept of Asian & Asian American Studies)