So you’re going through a break-up and you’ve got a midterm in a few days — you’ve come to the drastic conclusion that the end of the world is nigh. Not only are you going through a somber state of emotional agony, but you’re also about to fail that freaking test.
Moreover, social media doesn’t seem to be making matters any better for your heartbroken soul. The temptation to “check up” on an ex is very present — almost like the Instagram “search” bar is calling you over and telling you, “Your ex is probably moving on. Don’t you want to know who your replacement is?”
Snapchat is whispering, “Post that selfie — make them jealous.” Facebook is exclaiming, “That status they posted was about you.” Finally, your messaging app is trying to lure your fingers over that keyboard so you can type out: “I miss you.”
In this generation of excessive social media use,a relationship in actuality is only as legitimate as it is in virtual reality. When my ex updated his social media’s information from “in a relationship” to “single,” it was a defining moment for me.
It’s been a few months now and although the memories of my last relationship which lasted for three years are prevalent in my mind, I’ve been able to put my nerves at ease.
After all, breakups are a very nerve-wracking situation to be in. What made the end of my long-term relationship even more distressing was the fact that my boyfriend told me he was happier without me and didn’t miss me at all.
Surprisingly enough, his harsh words weren’t what hurt me the most — the changes he made to his social network accounts were. My ex had deleted any post, picture and status that had to do with being in a relationship with me.
Now, mix the devastation of being dumped by someone you once deemed your world with the stressors that come with being a college student and you’ve got yourself a miserable time.
It comes down to one question, “How do I handle this breakup without driving myself completely insane?”
Changing your mentality from one that is reliant on keeping track of your ex’s whereabouts to one that strives for personal greatness is key to getting through this grief-stricken time.
Chances are you can’t put your phone down — and that’s even when you’re not going through a break-up — so you’ll need some serious self-control.
If your ex was what you consider a “toxic” person and did some serious damage to your life then by all means, block them online. Get their online presence away from yours— it’ll help keep them at a (virtual) distance.
Now, if you’re still hung up on that ex and are a victim of what you consider a totally unfair breakup, this is where blocking might not be the right choice. Instead, it’s up to you to stop looking at their page, posts and pictures.
Essentially, the solution is to look for something else to obsess over — something that will do you some actual good. I recommend staying away from social media as much, and improving your academic life.
Your syllabus’ are probably filled with reading assignments, maybe it’s time to actually start doing some reading.
Rather than writing out long status’ describing how difficult the situation you’re going through is — save that energy for any essays or reports due this semester.
You’ll end up saving yourself the embarrassment of sharing something extremely personal with all of your followers and, in turn, end up getting an awesome grade in your class.
Now, sharing your grievances with loved ones isn’t a bad idea — it’s actually very healing. However there is a clear difference between having a curative one-on-one with a friend and sharing emo lyrics directed toward your ex with the world.
Moreover, don’t be that social media user that posts the “I’m completely over you and don’t need you” kind of statuses, when you’re thinking about that failed relationship day in and day out.
Rather post only when completely necessary — give yourself that time to heal and be genuine — especially when it comes to your online persona.
Now, social media has made it very accessible to meet someone new. The lyrics to rapper, Yo Gotti’s “Down in the Dm” song say a lot about the way this generation communicates online.
With that said, avoid jumping into another relationship too quickly — transition dating may only end up making you miss your ex-lover even more if you’re not completely over them.
Breakups are difficult; however, the way you go about them online can make all the difference when it comes to overcoming one. Quit obsessing over your ex’s selfies, stop updating your status with harsh words toward that person and accept the fact that the relationship is over.
You might have heard it plenty of times before but focusing on bettering yourself, while single, is one of the best things you can do after such a traumatic event. After all, you want to be in solid emotional shape when that “right” person slides in your dm, someday.