Daily 49er

Dear Santa: please don’t grade this letter

This year I’m asking St. Nick for more than presents — I need an academic miracle.

Photo+courtesy+of+Creative+Commons
Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

Karrie Comfort, Contributing Writer

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Dear Santa Claus,

It’s been an interesting semester, to say the least. I got in a car accident within the first few weeks of school and lost a good portion of my school work stashed in the trunk. As a result of the unfortunate event, my grades plummeted from merry A’s to naughty C’s.

I was being shuttled to and from school and work by friends, coworkers, and occasionally my mom — it would’ve really helped if you had lent me Blitzen for a few weeks. I mean, or Comet. I was far from being picky at the time.

After all, I know your loyal reindeer are on paid leave until at least mid-December, so I would have appreciated the lift.

But, I held out because I know that you only bring presents once a year, and I am nothing if not patient. In fact, I think you and I have quite a few things in common.

For example, I know you truly put in only around two weeks of work each December while you’re tidying up the nice and naughty list. Just like you, I too, only work two weeks or so out of the year: it’s called finals week for me.

Instead of diligently working throughout the year like your talented and often forgotten elves, I was drinking coffee at shabby chic cafes on Second Street. I might have hung out with friends instead of studying — I would constantly tell myself that I would “do it in the morning”.

Since you see me when I’m sleeping, and know when I’m awake, I’m sure you know that I never did it in the morning.

I mean really, some of us are just not built with the steady countenance of an elf, to continually build toys each day, or, in my case, write papers constantly. That’s the reason, I know, that you only deliver presents once a year and not on some kind of North Pole installment plan — biweekly for every new pay period.

That being said, Santa, just like you can’t shuffle out gifts for every Johnny and Sally out there every few days, neither could I get most of my school work done this semester.

All I want for Christmas is for the hard work I put in for these last two weeks of finals to be the only thing that counts toward my grades this semester. I promise to work extra hard and put in quite a lot of coffee-infused sweat and tears.

I don’t want you to think we don’t notice how hard it is for you to cram all those present deliveries into one night. I mean, as I try and cram 16 weeks worth of study material into two nights — I’m thinking of you the entire time.

Let’s make a deal: I’ll leave out a plate of cookies and milk for you if you can leave out a 24 oz Vietnamese coffee so I can get some serious studying done. Seems like a good exchange — after all we both need fuel, right?

Please and thanks, Santa Claus, I know I can always count on you. Since I know you only work on a once a year kind-of-basis, I have one last request in advance: can you help me again in May? I promise to save you a ticket for commencement.

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