Greetings, boos and ghouls! Yes, I went there. Brace yourself for spook-tacular word play and realistic guidelines on carving yourself a gourdeous jack-o-lantern in preparation for Halloween.
Step number fun: Acquire a pumpkin. I don’t care how you do it. Buy it, pick it from a patch, or bribe your co-worker with a how-to story for one. Whatever. Just don’t steal someone else’s jack-o-lantern. Although, if you do choose the criminal route, feel free to skip the rest of the steps.
Step number boo: Grab a sharp knife. Carefully. The dismembered limbs decorating lawns this time of year are fake. Please, don’t cut your fingers off. Anyway, grab a sharp knife and cut a circle around the stem of the pumpkin. Commence the gut scooping – that’s the technical term, I checked with the experts.
Step number three: I ran out of number puns. Once the pumpkin is all hollowed out, trace a template of what you want to carve out. Word to the wise, pumpkins are sharpie kryptonite. I ruined a few trying to draw out my classic jack-o-lantern face. Oops.
Step number horror: Maybe I have a few puns left in the word bank. Go Psycho on good ol’ Jack and hack away at him, with artistic prowess, of course. If you get scared away and mis-slice poor Jackie, flip the bad boy around and carve another face on the back. Tell people you’re making Jack-O and Hyde.