Harvard law student Elle Woods doesn't sweat finals, not even while sunbathing.
Arts & Life

Our​ ​View:​ ​Memoirs​ ​of​ ​a​ ​finals​ ​week​ ​nightmare

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For​ ​everyone​ ​who​ ​is​ ​cracking​ ​under​ ​the​ ​pressure​ ​of​ ​finals,​ ​I’m​ ​going​ ​to​ ​tell​ ​you​ ​some​ ​of​ ​the​ ​single 
most​ ​comforting​ ​words​ ​in​ ​the​ ​English​ ​dictionary.​ ​You​ ​are​ ​not​ ​alone.​ ​So​ ​if​ ​you​ ​feel​ ​like​ ​your​ ​life​ ​is​ ​in 
shambles,​ ​and​ ​no​ ​one​ ​could​ ​possibly​ ​understand​ ​what​ ​you’re​ ​going​ ​through,​ ​remember​ ​we’ve​ ​all 
been​ ​there,​ ​and​ ​might​ ​be​ ​going​ ​there​ ​again​ ​(except​ ​for​ ​our​ ​sports​ ​editor,​ ​Matt​ ​Simon,​ ​who 
apparently​ ​does​ ​everything​ ​perfectly​ ​all​ ​the​ ​time). 
Just​ ​to​ ​reassure​ ​you,​ ​here​ ​are​ ​some​ ​​final​​ ​words​ ​from​ ​the​ ​current​ ​Daily​ ​49er​ ​staff,​ ​detailing​ ​the 
terror​ ​we’ve​ ​all​ ​been​ ​through​ ​and​ ​will​ ​face​ ​again​ ​this​ ​week​ ​–​ ​maybe. 
 
 
Micayla​ ​Vermeeren,​ ​Editor-in-chief  
Ah,​ ​yes,​ ​the​ ​finals​ ​week​ ​of​ ​my​ ​sophomore​ ​spring​ ​semester​ ​–​ ​‘twas​ ​a​ ​beautiful​ ​day​ ​when​ ​I​ ​walked 
into​ ​my​ ​Minorities​ ​and​ ​the​ ​Media​ ​class​ ​with​ ​the​ ​lymph​ ​nodes​ ​on​ ​the​ ​right​ ​side​ ​of​ ​my​ ​neck 
distended​ ​past​ ​my​ ​jawline,​ ​both​ ​elbows​ ​bandaged​ ​from​ ​just-performed​ ​bloodwork​ ​and​ ​my​ ​face 
looking…no…after​ ​a​ ​few​ ​days​ ​of​ ​arduous​ ​exams​ ​and​ ​doctor’s​ ​visits.​ ​It’s​ ​one​ ​thing​ ​to​ ​catch​ ​a​ ​cold 
around​ ​finals,​ ​with​ ​all​ ​the​ ​late​ ​nights​ ​and​ ​heavy​ ​stressors​ ​compounding​ ​upon​ ​students,​ ​jacking​ ​up 
immune​ ​systems​ ​left​ ​and​ ​right.​ ​It’s​ ​an​ ​entirely​ ​different​ ​story​ ​to​ ​end​ ​up​ ​in​ ​the​ ​position​ ​I​ ​was​ ​in​ ​that 
day.​ ​Quite​ ​literally​ ​overnight,​ ​my​ ​body​ ​started​ ​freaking​ ​the​ ​absolute​ ​hell​ ​out,​ ​and​ ​started​ ​giving​ ​me 
hellacious​ ​symptoms​ ​that​ ​seemed​ ​to​ ​align​ ​a​ ​bit​ ​too​ ​closely​ ​with​ ​everyone’s​ ​least​ ​favorite​ ​diagnosis. 
Thankfully,​ ​the​ ​biopsies​ ​I​ ​went​ ​through​ ​a​ ​few​ ​days​ ​after​ ​finals​ ​came​ ​back​ ​borderline,​ ​not​ ​positive 
(as​ ​did​ ​most​ ​of​ ​my​ ​grades​ ​for​ ​that​ ​semester,​ ​to​ ​be​ ​honest.)  
 
 
Miranda​ ​Andrade-Ceja,​ ​Managing​ ​Editor
Imagine​ ​depriving​ ​your​ ​body​ ​of​ ​nutritional​ ​sustenance,​ ​water​ ​and​ ​sleep​ ​so​ ​your​ ​lips​ ​are​ ​cut​ ​up 
from​ ​dryness​ ​and​ ​your​ ​stomach​ ​is​ ​functioning​ ​off​ ​of​ ​those​ ​four​ ​cups​ ​of​ ​coffee,​ ​six​ ​spliffs​ ​and​ ​seven 
cans​ ​of​ ​Le​ ​Croix​ ​(lemon,​ ​it​ ​was​ ​on​ ​sale​ ​at​ ​the​ ​Grocery​ ​Outlet)​ ​for​ ​the​ ​better​ ​part​ ​of​ ​the​ ​week. 
Imagine​ ​keeping​ ​yourself​ ​up​ ​late​ ​(early?)​ ​enough​ ​to​ ​hear​ ​birds​ ​brightly​ ​chirping,​ ​all​ ​the​ ​while​ ​you 
haven’t​ ​had​ ​the​ ​motivation​ ​to​ ​wash​ ​your​ ​hair​ ​(and​ ​the​ ​motivation​ ​to​ ​get​ ​your​ ​schoolwork​ ​done​ ​is 
completely​ ​and​ ​utterly​ ​contrived)​ ​and​ ​temples​ ​feel​ ​like​ ​glass​ ​getting​ ​hit​ ​by​ ​a​ ​sledgehammer 
because​ ​you’ve​ ​been​ ​reading​ ​the​ ​same​ ​PowerPoint​ ​sentence​ ​over​ ​and​ ​over​ ​again. 
 
Now​ ​imagine​ ​that​ ​you​ ​gradually​ ​came​ ​to​ ​the​ ​realization​ ​that​ ​you​ ​were​ ​so​ ​busy​ ​trying​ ​to​ ​function​ ​for 
most​ ​of​ ​the​ ​semester​ ​(two​ ​jobs,​ ​one​ ​full​ ​time,​ ​full-time​ ​school​ ​schedule,​ ​pretty​ ​much​ ​full​ ​financial 
independence),​ ​that​ ​you​ ​are​ ​now​ ​writing​ ​a​ ​12-page​ ​book​ ​report​ ​and​ ​10-page​ ​research​ ​paper​ ​in 
single​ ​nights​ ​and​ ​haven’t​ ​really​ ​absorbed​ ​a​ ​single​ ​bit​ ​of​ ​information​ ​that​ ​you​ ​should​ ​have​ ​retained 
throughout​ ​the​ ​past​ ​several​ ​months.
 
In​ ​short,​ ​you​ ​might​ ​have​ ​learnt​ ​close​ ​to​ ​nothing​ ​from​ ​this​ ​semester​ ​of​ ​college.​ ​At​ ​least​ ​it’s​ ​almost 
over. 
 
Valerie​ ​Osier,​ ​News​ ​Editor 
My​ ​last​ ​semester​ ​before​ ​transferring​ ​to​ ​CSULB​ ​was​ ​insanely​ ​stressful.​ ​Mostly​ ​because​ ​I​ ​had​ ​to 
take​ ​all​ ​my​ ​finals​ ​a​ ​week​ ​early​ ​to​ ​leave​ ​for​ ​an​ ​out-of-state​ ​internship.​ ​I​ ​had​ ​to​ ​take​ ​an​ ​incomplete​ ​in 
one​ ​class​ ​because​ ​my​ ​professor​ ​wouldn’t​ ​allow​ ​me​ ​to​ ​take​ ​my​ ​final​ ​early.​ ​But​ ​the​ ​stress​ ​of​ ​taking 
most​ ​of​ ​my​ ​finals​ ​early​ ​plus​ ​wrapping​ ​up​ ​the​ ​last​ ​issue​ ​of​ ​my​ ​community​ ​college​ ​newspaper​ ​plus 
preparing​ ​for​ ​a​ ​two-month​ ​trip​ ​to​ ​Oklahoma​ ​was​ ​insane.​ ​Sidenote/finals​ ​week​ ​pro-tip:​ ​while​ ​I​ ​was 
in​ ​Oklahoma,​ ​there​ ​was​ ​this​ ​great​ ​grocery​ ​store​ ​called​ ​Aldi’s​ ​where​ ​they​ ​sold​ ​really​ ​good​ ​discount 
groceries.​ ​Aldi’s​ ​is​ ​now​ ​in​ ​California,​ ​too!​ ​That’s​ ​where​ ​I​ ​get​ ​my​ ​really​ ​good​ ​knock-off​ ​RedBull​ ​that 
only​ ​costs​ ​$2.99​ ​for​ ​a​ ​4​ ​pack.​ ​Beats​ ​paying​ ​over​ ​$3​ ​for​ ​one​ ​RedBull​ ​at​ ​school.​ ​That’s​ ​what​ ​I​ ​live 
off​ ​of​ ​during​ ​finals.​ ​It’s​ ​also​ ​called​ ​Red​ ​Thunder​ ​and​ ​you​ ​can​ ​say​ ​it​ ​in​ ​a​ ​cool​ ​voice. 
 
Jason​ ​Enns,​ ​Art​ ​&​ ​Life​ ​Editor 
I​ ​don’t​ ​have​ ​any​ ​specific​ ​nightmare​ ​persay,​ ​because​ ​every​ ​finals​ ​week​ ​is​ ​pretty​ ​much​ ​the​ ​same​ ​for 
me.​ ​See,​ ​where​ ​as​ ​most​ ​people​ ​stress​ ​about​ ​finals​ ​for​ ​weeks,​ ​I​ ​stress​ ​out​ ​intensely​ ​for​ ​only​ ​a​ ​few 
days.​ ​Procrastination​ ​is​ ​not​ ​a​ ​flaw,​ ​it​ ​is​ ​a​ ​tool​ ​that​ ​allows​ ​me​ ​to​ ​achieve​ ​my​ ​ultimate​ ​level​ ​of 
productivity;​ ​necessity​ ​is​ ​the​ ​greatest​ ​motivator.​ ​Pressure​ ​turns​ ​coal​ ​into​ ​diamonds.​ ​It’s​ ​always​ ​the 
same.​ ​The​ ​pressure​ ​crashes​ ​on​ ​me​ ​like​ ​a​ ​meteor​ ​to​ ​earth,​ ​I​ ​stay​ ​up​ ​all​ ​night​ ​before​ ​it’s​ ​due​ ​and​ ​as 
the​ ​rest​ ​of​ ​the​ ​world​ ​goes​ ​to​ ​sleep​ ​and​ ​I​ ​am​ ​left​ ​with​ ​my​ ​angst​ ​and​ ​the​ ​serenity​ ​of​ ​night.​ ​Here​ ​I 
reached​ ​peak​ ​performance,​ ​and​ ​manage​ ​to​ ​do​ ​a​ ​whole​ ​semester’s​ ​worth​ ​of​ ​work​ ​in​ ​a​ ​matter​ ​of 
hours. 
 
 
Matthew​ ​Simon,​ ​Sports​ ​Editor 
Memoirs​ ​of​ ​a​ ​finals​ ​week​ ​nightmare?​ ​Can’t​ ​relate.  
 
Hanna​ ​Suarez,​ ​Opinions​ ​Editor 
Essays.​ ​Essays.​ ​Essays.​ ​Essays.​ ​Existential​ ​crisis.​ ​Essays.​ ​Essays.​ ​Essays.​ ​Essays. 
 
 
Jose​ ​De​ ​Castro,​ ​Photography​ ​Editor 
 
The​ ​time​ ​I​ ​was​ ​almost​ ​done​ ​with​ ​my​ ​engineering​ ​project​ ​and​ ​I​ ​realized​ ​that​ ​I​ ​had​ ​run​ ​out​ ​of 
Skittles.​ ​I​ ​lost​ ​all​ ​of​ ​my​ ​focus​ ​and​ ​wanted​ ​to​ ​go​ ​to​ ​the​ ​store​ ​and​ ​buy​ ​more​ ​Wild​ ​Berry​ ​Skittles. 
Sadly,​ ​it​ ​was​ ​3​ ​a.m.​ ​and​ ​most​ ​stores​ ​were​ ​closed.​ ​I​ ​tried​ ​so​ ​hard​ ​and​ ​got​ ​so​ ​far​ ​and​ ​in​ ​the​ ​end​ ​it 
didn’t​ ​even​ ​matter​ ​because​ ​I​ ​didn’t​ ​have​ ​my​ ​Skittles. 
 
Lindsey​ ​Maeda,​ ​Design​ ​Editor 
The​ ​group​ ​study​ ​floor​ ​of​ ​the​ ​library​ ​is​ ​like​ ​Satan’s​ ​butthole.​ ​The​ ​body​ ​heat,​ ​hysterical​ ​chatter​ ​and 
smell​ ​of​ ​fart​ ​is​ ​a​ ​recipe​ ​for​ ​disaster.  
 
Liam​ ​Brown,​ ​Special​ ​Issues​ ​Editor 
 
Chalk​ ​it​ ​up​ ​to​ ​stubborn​ ​perfectionism,​ ​but​ ​my​ ​most​ ​recent​ ​finals​ ​week​ ​nightmare​ ​was​ ​so​ ​scary​ ​it 
occurred​ ​weeks​ ​before​ ​finals.​ ​I​ ​missed​ ​turning​ ​in​ ​an​ ​essay​ ​in​ ​one​ ​of​ ​my​ ​general​ ​education​ ​classes 
and​ ​thought​ ​it​ ​was​ ​the​ ​end​ ​of​ ​the​ ​world​ ​—​ ​my​ ​grade​ ​was​ ​plummeting.​ ​I​ ​wouldn’t​ ​be​ ​able​ ​to​ ​restore 
it,​ ​and​ ​I​ ​even​ ​went​ ​so​ ​far​ ​as​ ​to​ ​go​ ​to​ ​the​ ​liberal​ ​arts​ ​advising​ ​center​ ​asking​ ​about​ ​taking​ ​the​ ​class 
credit/no-credit,​ ​knowing​ ​full​ ​well​ ​I​ ​had​ ​missed​ ​the​ ​deadline.​ ​Cue​ ​full-on​ ​existential​ ​crisis​ ​before​ ​I 
used​ ​my​ ​handy-dandy​ ​Calculator​ ​app​ ​to​ ​figure​ ​out​ ​the​ ​obvious:​ ​one​ ​rinky-dink​ ​essay​ ​wasn’t​ ​going 
to​ ​tank​ ​my​ ​grade.​ ​It’s​ ​why​ ​I’m​ ​not​ ​a​ ​math​ ​major.​ ​Moral​ ​of​ ​the​ ​story:​ ​always​ ​check​ ​the​ ​facts​ ​and 
don’t​ ​sweat​ ​the​ ​small​ ​stuff.  
 
Jade​ ​Inglada,​ ​Assistant​ ​Design​ ​Editor 
I​ ​don’t​ ​recall​ ​having​ ​a​ ​finals​ ​nightmare​ ​prior​ ​to​ ​the​ ​one​ ​I’m​ ​living​ ​in​ ​right​ ​now.​ ​Sure,​ ​I​ ​have​ ​one 
that’s​ ​already​ ​finished,​ ​but​ ​the​ ​last​ ​three​ ​fall​ ​one​ ​right​ ​after​ ​the​ ​other​ ​and​ ​I​ ​still​ ​have​ ​a​ ​lot​ ​of​ ​writing 
to​ ​do​ ​by​ ​Wednesday.​ ​I’m​ ​torn​ ​between​ ​not​ ​worrying​ ​about​ ​it​ ​too​ ​much​ ​and​ ​crying​ ​into​ ​my​ ​pillow​ ​to 
relieve​ ​some​ ​stress.​ ​I​ ​think​ ​I’ll​ ​be​ ​fine​ ​as​ ​long​ ​as​ ​I​ ​don’t​ ​sleep​ ​for​ ​the​ ​next​ ​72​ ​hours​ ​and​ ​don’t​ ​go 
home.​ ​Find​ ​out​ ​next​ ​week​ ​if​ ​I​ ​made​ ​it​ ​out​ ​of​ ​this​ ​semester​ ​alive​ ​with​ ​any​ ​of​ ​my​ ​sanity​ ​intact!  
 
Stephanie​ ​Hak,​ ​Graphic​ ​Illustrator 
I​ ​remember​ ​the​ ​times​ ​when​ ​I​ ​had​ ​late​ ​nights​ ​studying,​ ​and​ ​sleepless​ ​nights​ ​writing​ ​those​ ​papers 
from​ ​when​ ​I​ ​first​ ​transferred​ ​here.​ ​Now,​ ​I​ ​am​ ​glad​ ​to​ ​say​ ​that​ ​I​ ​was​ ​able​ ​to​ ​make​ ​my​ ​last​ ​finals 
week​ ​less​ ​stressful​ ​by​ ​scheduling​ ​“chill”​ ​classes​ ​(though​ ​I​ ​am​ ​still​ ​nervous​ ​presenting​ ​in​ ​front​ ​of​ ​my 
classes)! 
 
Bobby​ ​Yagake,​ ​Social​ ​Media​ ​Editor 
I​ ​don’t​ ​have​ ​a​ ​specific​ ​nightmare,​ ​but​ ​studying​ ​for​ ​finals​ ​is​ ​always​ ​a​ ​matter​ ​of​ ​sitting​ ​in​ ​one​ ​place​ ​at 
one​ ​time​ ​reading​ ​all​ ​the​ ​chapters​ ​and​ ​trying​ ​as​ ​hard​ ​as​ ​I​ ​can​ ​not​ ​to​ ​touch​ ​my​ ​phone​ ​or​ ​video​ ​game 
systems.​ ​​ ​If​ ​I​ ​have​ ​to​ ​usually​ ​use​ ​a​ ​computer,​ ​it’s​ ​hard​ ​to​ ​stay​ ​off​ ​of​ ​YouTube.​ ​I​ ​always​ ​try​ ​not​ ​to 
stay​ ​up​ ​until​ ​3​ ​or​ ​4​ ​a.m.​ ​studying;​ ​but​ ​I​ ​always​ ​fail. 

One Comment

  1. Avatar
    Leann W. McElhaney
    May 16, 2017 at 10:52 am  ·  Reply

    This is my first semester and finals are tough. I studied all weekend to the point my brain said “done.” I am older than other students and its a bit harder to remember the whole book in Human Sexuality. I applied old school by making note cards for each chapter. With me, I made them poster size and printed out charts wrote notes down that took two days. After writing everything on them it was time to sit down by the water fountain in the quad listen to the classic. To keep me in check. Then looked at each note cards three times again to see if I know what I am learning. I got this. Hope I passed…I haven’t felt like this seen my high school years cramming for finals. How exciting this is.

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