Alternative cooling places to avoid being a swamp monster
August 16, 2012
Even though Shark Week is in session, August’s heat wave has potential to kill anyone’s fascination of nature’s ultimate killing machine.
Let’s face it, we often become physically and mentally heated by the weather. We all felt the sunrays before reading your mundane complaints on Facebook, too. (Burn!)
In fact, the sauna weather positively correlates with aggression, as seen on that “Hey Arnold!” episode where everyone went nuts because shaved ice prices inflated to $18.
The characters on the Nickelodeon show eventually learned to fight the man and sunpower, though.
Lucky for us, we don’t have to wage war because here are some alternative cooling stations to prevent our Wicked Witch of the West mentalities from getting the best of us.
We should be “rollin’, rollin’, rollin'” to the franchise in pursuit of the air-conditioning and being a feature creature on People of Wal-Mart. If you don’t want to leave the supercenter’s greeter suspicious because you’re empty-handed, splurge on your own cooling system at your own risk.
Note: If your local Wal-Mart is being frugal on electricity, proceed to the frozen foods section, and briefly open up the refrigerators as a consolation prize!
The nearest gas station
Why do you have to put your AC on blast and waste gas when you can just bask in the gas station’s convenience store AC?
The local library
Besides the heat, many students often complain about a boring summer. Well, you can build a terrarium, volunteer at a non-profit organization or just get your read on! Rest your body, and exercise your mind until you get a brain drain!
Your friend’s place or car
According to mental health expert John M. Grohol’s “The Psychology of a Heat Wave” on Psych Central, “If you’re a loner, a heat wave is the ideal time to make new friends who have air-conditioning.”
That doesn’t sound like a real friend, so make sure you and your buddy are cool before you give each other aid.
Note: Don’t tag along to Vegas just for the air-conditioning, though.
Instead of wasting all your moola on designer drugs, check out some art installations at Los Angeles museums. The experience may not be as enhanced for you when sober, but get your money’s worth and stay until closing time. Take life and heat for what it is: a beautiful struggle!
Not your kitchen!
Former U.S. President Harry Truman said, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen!” Truman may be cold and lifeless as of now, but honor this true man’s words.
Fall 2012 on Saturday, Sept. 22
If you are extremely patient and can endure being a seasonal swamp monster, then you can wait until the Northern Hemisphere’s first official day of fall. According to Cal State Long Beach sophomore, English major Chrisma Luna, “I have been waiting for the semester to begin because I want to start my classes to be in the perfect Long Beach weather.”
If your future self triumphs, then well done, or you’re toast!